This week's column was
inspired by Thursday night's appearance of legendary
Game Show Guru-slash-Company Man, Chuck Barris on the LATE SHOW.
CONFESSIONS
OF A DORKY MIND
For so long, I
have been harboring a deep, dark secret about myself. And I think
fans of this column may have stumbled upon my secret shame. Yes,
dear readers, with the exception of David Letterman, I have
absolutely the worst taste in the world. I know it's difficult to
make such a blanket statement. Alas, I have plenty of proof.
There will always be a part of me who wished I had a working
knowledge of Kultur, of great opera and great works of art. But I
know I've always been a little too white trashy in my personal
enthusiasms and a little too prole friendly for my own good. If
you ever wondered who in their right minds watches JACKASS, um,
that would be me. If you ever wondered what type of individual
would ever consider buying a stripper pole for his living room
simply because (as seen on MTV CRIBS) Big Boi from OUTKAST has
one, yup, I've been there too. By the way, IKEA doesn't sell 'em,
I checked.
They say a person acquires much of his intelligence during the
first five years of life. If this is true, I think I can
pinpoint, to the date, when I bungee jumped off the ocean liner
GOOD TASTE.
FADE IN: SUMMER 1977
EST. SHOT: TYPICAL MIDDLE CLASS, MIDDLE AMERICAN SUBURBAN
HOME-NIGHT.
INT. HUMBLE LIVING ROOM/TV ROOM. NUMEROUS KNICK KNACKS AND
BRICK-A-BRAC SURROUND A TWENTY FIVE INCH COLOR TELEVISION SET. A
SUBTLE SCORCESE-LIKE TRACKING SHOT (THINK CASINO) SLOWLY REVEALS
AN IMPRESSIONABLE CHILD PARKED DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF SAID
MAGNAVOX, HIS MOUTH AGAPED AND HIS EYES AGOGGED.
So, here I am, a five year old Xander, catching my first glimpse
who would alter my life forever more. Yes, I am talking about
GONG SHOW fixture, Gene-Gene the Dancing Machine.
From his stiff legged Cab Calloway inspired gyrations to his
Rerun from WHAT'S HAPPENIN' wiggy break dance moves and to his
proto-Michael Jackson moonwalk, the immortal, self proclaimed
Dancing Machine truly touched my prepubescent soul. Adding to the
mix: Jaye P. "I'm High on Life/Ludes" Morgan (for a
short while, my ideal woman. Right after Sam from BEWITCHED and
Morticia Addams but before Siouxsie Sioux of Siouxsie Sioux and
the Banshees) and scores of talent free amateurs (of the sort
that would give Joe Franklin wet dreams). I thought I was in
heaven but it was only a fool's paradise.
I needed more. With a monkey on my back, I soon graduated to the
harder stuff, the dark side of the Chuck Barris canon: Rip Taylor
and the $1.98 BEAUTY CONTEST and TREASURE HUNT with the
diabolical limey assistant, Emile Arturi the Third.
So I guess it is perhaps understandable why I greet the release
of the movie CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND and the sudden,
unexpected renaissance of Chuck Barris with both paralyzing
terror and a smile on my face.
Be that as it may, the artist formally known as 'Chuckie Baby'
was actually a pretty good guest for Letterman. As a television
personality, he was always a trifle bit squirrelly. In his
heyday, there was a slightly abashed, deer in the headlights
quality about Chuck that made his humor more self deprecating and
served to shield his natural intelligence. Thankfully, over the
years, he has retained his self deprecating wit but now feels no
need to mask the smarts.
Anyone who's read his memoirs knows that Chuck was quite the
huckster extraordinaire and that his programs played (knowingly)
to the lowest common denominator. They were wholeheartedly, the
product of a very singular television maverick who, yes, had a
very dangerous mind. Here was a producer whose output was
extremely limited but whose influence upon the television
landscape is greater today than it's ever been.
It seemed to me that Chuck enjoyed playing the part of the wacky,
carny minded id to the rest of broadcast television's superego.
Chuck Barris may have retired (with his millions) twenty years
ago but network TV has been trying to play catch up ever since.
If you look at television today, you can see the essence of Chuck
all over the place. From the reality dating shows to the
jacked-up talent competitions, they all owe their allegiance to
the old Barris oeuvre.
But I think the chief difference is one of innocence. When Chuck
ran into trouble with the censors, I don't think he was
consciously trying to push the envelope. He was just trying to
pull a fast one over the networks. When network programmers run
shows like JOE MILLIONAIRE or THE BACHELORETTE, they're not
trying to push the envelope either. They're just trying to pull a
fast one over the viewing public. That's a huge difference.
On the LATE SHOW, Dave addressed some of these issues. In fact,
he was extraordinarily gracious and articulate. Perhaps, and I
know this may sound strange, Dave felt in Chuck Barris a kindred
spirit: both men definitely marched to their own drummers and
each had a personal vision of what they wanted out of television
and, despite numerous obstacles, refused to compromise on that
vision.
Plus, Dave obviously relished the idea that this guy may (or may
not have) been a CIA operative and that he may (or may not have)
assassinated 33 men. Gotta admit it does make one helluva story.
All in all, a very good effort.
