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ch15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
THE RATINGS ARE ON FIRE, BABY!
It is August 1993, the month that The Late Show with
David Letterman debuted on CBS. If David
Letterman had any reservations about making the big
switch, he must have buried them when he received the
news about his ratings.
The Late Show with David Letterman is ON FIRE,
BABY. It is sizzling, it is hot, and Dave's ratings
have sky rocketed in the first year of this newly created
CBS Late Night Show! David Letterman is
consistently beating the Tonight Show in Late
Night Ratings. Everyone, including me, has DAVE FEVER!
And the best thing is, Dave never even had to sell his
body to get them! Ha, ha! (Just
kidding! Dave never wanted to sell his body. There I go
again - trying to turn a perfectly respectable story into
a trailer trash story! Ha, Ha!) Too bad he didn't though.
I would have loved to check out his legs! Ha, Ha!
Dave's face has graced many a magazine cover. All of the
major newspapers are running articles regarding his new
show. At offices around the country, the water coolers
are a buzz with TOP TEN JOKES and people enquiring
about Dave's current guest line-up! Newscasters, Talk
Show Hosts, and even the Olympics have all caught the
Dave bug. HUUUGE STARS ARE MAKING CAMEO AND FEATURE
APPEARANCES ON HIS SHOW. By September 1993 (David's
show debuted August 30, 1993) two weeks before the
Olympics - the Late Show with David Letterman
ratings are 50% higher than the The Tonight Show.
GO DAVE! And CBS had better have great insurance on The
Ed Sullivan Theater, because Dave's ratings are about to
blow the roof off!
Add to that, CBS is RINGING UP THE $$$$$$ IN THE CASH
REGISTER. Advertising Agencies are begging to get a spot
on the show. There ARE bidding wars - and $60,000.00 per
half a minute commercials are being sold at the drop of a
hat!
The best part about Dave's success, IF YOU ASK MY HUMBLE
OPPINION (which no one usually does, because you never
know what will come out of me! Ha, ha!) is that he
got there without stepping on anyone's toes! He did
it with honesty, creativity, hard work, perseverance, and
a lot of HOT BABE's (HA, HA) on the show!
(This same high moral character is displayed today, when
David Letterman refused to take the ABC Late Night Show
because he thought that he might push Mr. Koppel out of a
job! This is why David Letterman has lasted so long
in this business. He consistently chooses
friendships, and what is morally right, over business!)
Now that Dave is consistently a ratings winner, many new
viewers want to join in the celebration, the fun, the
party, and become a winner too! Once they tuned in,
David's comic abilities retained them. (I, myself, raised
a toast, a Martini of course, to an imaginary Mr.
Letterman. Then Belleview Mental Hospital came all the
way out to California to pick me up and lock me up for
good! Ha, ha!)
SERIOUSLY THOUGH! THIS IS TRULY A MONUMENTAL OCCASION IN
THE HISTORY OF CBS, AND THE HISTORY OF DAVID LETTERMAN! A
SUCCESS THAT WILL CONTINUE FOR MANY YEARS TO COME! 
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